How to be your husband's cheerleader
- Revive Our Hearts
- Apr 7, 2017
- 3 min read
Click link below picture for the steps I took for a month and then carried on throughout the year and beyond.
Growing up with two older brothers and no sister, you can imagine I learned how to be that woman who sucked it up and moved on. This prevented me from being empathetic towards men, in particular my husband. I had to be INTENTIONAL and learn how to be his cheerleader. This isn’t to say, that he had the right to go elsewhere to find that cheerleader. However, there is an element of truth in the saying that as wives, we need to be our husband’s GREATEST CHEERLEADER!!! Here are some tips:
Praise him for everything he does. For example, making the bed, turning off lights, hanging up his towel. It might seem so insignificant to you, but men need to HEAR that gratitude from their wives.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.(Philippians 4:8, 11, KJV).
Separate every thought that comes into your brain.Is it a God thought or is it from Satan?If it’s from Satan, proclaim OUT LOUD, “Satan, get behind me.Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in this world.”Say it over and over again and BELIEVE IT!!!God loves to deal with the impossible!This is how to captivate our thinking and make it obedient to Christ_
Talk about non-controversial topics occasionally. He knows the things he does that irritate you, so don’t bring them up ever again. Instead, pray about those things. The sooner you give those annoying things about your spouse to God, the sooner God brings change! This was a pivotal point in our healing. As I look back over my notes, I see tons of scrap papers mentioning all the things I wanted to discuss with my husband and things I wanted him to do, e.g., get counseling, have accountability partner, daily devotions, etc. Go ahead and write these things down if necessary to get it off your chest, but PLEASE, DON’T BRING IT UP WITH YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN. I LEARNED THE HARD WAY FROM EXPERIENCE, THIS JUST MAKES THINGS WORSE. He already knows. Pray over it, give it to God. You’ll love the results.
Learn your spouse’s love language and SPEAK IT DAILY!!!
An excellent resource for learning and applying this to your life is Mark Gungor’s “flag page” test.http://markgungor.com/what-motivates-you
This takes work- INTENTIONALITY, especially if he has a different love language than you.I had to put reminders on my phone, on 3x5 cards in my dashboard, on the fridge, desk and all over to remind me to do something special for my man at least once a day, e.g. thank him for disciplining the kids, taking them to lessons, making dinner, etc.Good starting point is the CHAIRS acronym described in a few pages.
Identify with his weakness as if it were your own. Be a partner in the healing, not a judge or a hindrance.
Dream with your spouse. I dreaded discussing any future matters with my husband during our struggle, and I avoided doing it for over a year. I was afraid to even ask him if he wanted to go to the gym with me that day because things were so unstable. I was afraid if he said no, I would be crushed and experience difficulty avoiding anxiety about him and whatever he chose to do instead. Hopefully you’re seeing how co-dependent I was on my husband. I was NOT depending on Christ like I should have been.
I know how hard it is to dream happy things in the midst of a crisis, but as things improve (and they will if you’re putting your faith in Christ), begin to plan future fun activities and dream together about what you would like to do with your spouse as you get older.Have fun with it!
Treat your spouse like you would treat other members of the same sex. I realize this sounds weird, but in our situation, it made perfect sense. I often would be very polite and respectful of guys at work, then come home and show sheer disgust to my husband through my body language and my words.
Ask God to increase your sensitivity and awareness to your spouse, so you notice things before it’s too late. Ask Him to help you see your spouse through God’s eyes.
Listen to your spouse’s EVERY WORD! Chew on it like a cow chews its cud.
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