Can God really move this mountain? by my husband, Matt Miller, LPC-A, specializing in marriage an

You see, it's easy to love others when they are beautiful, healthy, cooperative, agreeable, and content, which is why you were smiling and gleefully said your marriage vows before God and the Church. But try feeling and expressing that same love when the opposite is true: when your spouse is ugly, sick, caustic, disagreeable, and demanding! This is why, we as Christians, must depend on the Holy Spirit to love others, especially when it is virtually impossible, in a long-term relationship such as marriage. On a hill the Creator created, Jesus chose to surrender and die. Notice that sin and death were not overcome until Jesus, God of the Universe, willingly humbled Himself and did the unnatural to accomplish the supernatural. Think about it, the King of kings and Lord of lords chose to die to take my rejection, scorn, punishment, shame, and death. What is the result for us? He conquered sin and death for all of humanity (2 Corinthians 5:15) who put their faith in Him for all time (Ephesians 2:8-9). His sacrifice gives us eternity in Heaven (Romans 6:23), and also provides for believers, the Advocate, the Spirit of Truth, the Comforter, and Counselor - the Holy Spirit (John 14:16-17) to help and empower us to live as Jesus did. Additionally, Jesus’ obedience put Him in the place of Honor beside the Father, at His right hand (Hebrews 10:12). Do you grasp this concept? The Son is now in the position of the King and the Father is in the position of the queen. That is where Jesus’ obedience and suffering took Him. I wonder where yours will take you? Jesus "Move me like You move the mountains,” says the song. Many of us want the mountain of our broken relationship to move. We want it to be fixed, but are unwilling to do the hard work to attain it. Why would God change anything in our circumstances, if we are unwilling to change one thing about ourselves for more than a day? But when we don’t get the response we want, to our kind action, we throw up our hands, and say, “The other person will never change.” And we throw in the towel of defeat. How judgemental since we are doing exactly what we are condemning our spouse for doing: being critical, mean, unloving, defensive, and avoidant. Most of us are so offended by others that we never stop defending our reasons for thinking angry and resentful thoughts, and then choosing outward sinful behaviors, because we think we are justified. In our self-righteousness, we believe we are justified to withhold affection and common courtesy. My friends, there is never a justification to sin. And after the anger emotion is felt, your Spirit-filled control or lack of self-control will determine whether you sin in your anger or not (Ephesians 4:26). Even if we are justified to feel an emotion, we never have a license to sin. And I get it, a lot of us have been severely violated by those we thought we could trust. Regardless, Jesus commands us to forgive as God has forgiven us. Why? Because of our self-righteousness and selfish nature, even in our justification, we hold onto the bitterness and unforgiveness, which is toxic to our hearts, minds, and souls. My soul, being made up of thoughts, emotions, and will. If I am focused on the action or words someone did or said to hurt me, I am being filled and consumed with bitterness and toxicity. Paul said that in order for me to not grieve the Holy Spirit, I must “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” (Ephesians 4:31). On the contrary, I should “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above myself, not looking to my own interests but to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4). Instead of wasting our time talking or thinking about others’ negative characteristics, which we have absolutely no control over, we should first confess and repent of our own sinful behaviors and thoughts, which also caused part of the breakdown of our marital relationship. Then we must ask the Holy Spirit to empower us, so we can instead bless, pray for, and love our enemies (my spouse) (Luke 6:28), with Christ's supernatural, inhuman love. This unnatural, spirit filled love will then enable me to put my spouse's interests above my own. Then, and only then, will my faith begin to move the mountain (Luke 17:6), not in my spouse, but in me! It required Jesus’ humble obedience to overcome the power of death and sin. In your marriage, there may be some very serious problems that need to be overcome. Jesus is saying, “As I trusted and submitted Myself to The Father (John 4:34), I ask that you do the same (James 4:7). Test Me and see if My Father is not faithful!”